I Am Always Supported

I’ve never been much of a team player, and I’ve never allowed myself to feel supported by others or by God.

I never much-loved team sports or team activities. I generally leaned more toward solo activities like track and field or public speaking. I did play Little League softball, and I was the pitcher…of course. The pitcher had a little more notoriety than the other positions.

Being in the spotlight was my goal, and I loved winning.

No wonder that I quickly began a career in sales after graduating college. A sales job was perfect for me, as it met all of my requirements. It was individually driven. It was in the spotlight of the company, and I could win.

And, so I did. I quickly rose the corporate sales ladder, winning awards and making big deals.

When I was 30 years old, I was promoted to the National Sales Manager position, responsible for a team of sales people across the country. I lasted about a year and a half in that role.

I didn’t love managing other people. I loved my hard-driving sales women, but I didn’t love the people who weren’t as driven as me and who didn’t eat, breathe and sleep sales.

(I think women make amazing sales people because we often are out to prove ourselves.)

And, I didn’t like being measured by results that were tied to the efforts of others. It was just easier by myself.

So, I stepped down from that role, and they created a new role for me as a national account executive, calling on the home offices of major insurance companies. I only worked on big national deals, and I loved the notoriety of it.

There I was back in my comfort zone. Just me, myself and I.

I had a reputation in my company. It’s not a reputation that I am proud of, but I was thought of as self-centered, money hungry, and arrogant. It was true.

Even though they didn’t like my attitude, they loved my results. So, they kept me.

Fast forward to today.

I own my own skincare business. It’s perfect because I don’t have to report to anyone…and once again, it’s just me, myself and I.

I had an employee for about three years, and it actually worked out really well. When she quit last December, I figured I would just go at it alone for a while.

A few months ago, a friend and local business owner told me about one of her employees who was in beauty school and would be graduating soon. She raved about her employee as one of the best she has had and recommended I speak to her about joining my business.

I spoke to the young woman a few times, and she would definitely be a good fit for my business. But I was feeling wishy washy about bringing someone on board.

The night before I was supposed to send her an offer letter, a little voice told me “No, don’t do it. It’s going to be a lot of work and training. Your life is good. Why add more to your plate?”

I spoke to a few friends about it that evening, and I came to the conclusion that I probably wasn’t going to hire her. I was pretty sure that God was telling me no.

But before I decided, I wrote down “hire an employee?” and I put it in my God box. I also journaled about it that night and I asked for a very clear and decisive answer from the universe.