Do you ever get stuck in fear, afraid to make a decision? Do you find yourself full of the what-ifs?
What if it doesn’t work out? What if it’s the wrong color? What if I don’t succeed? What if I don’t like it after I buy it? What if I don’t want to go after I purchase the ticket? What if it’s raining that night? What if I don’t like the new people I will work with?
I don’t really suffer from the “what if’s” too often. I am decisive, and I generally go with my intuition whether the subject-in-question is big or small.
But I do hear a lot of people debating decisions…mulling them over, overthinking, and so on. And that’s their process. It’s just not a process I can deal with. I make decisions and move on.
In most cases. 😊
Dating and the “What Ifs”
When it comes to dating, I am no expert! Ha! Now that’s a total understatement.
I will what-if myself to death. What if this and what if that? And what if blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! I will what-if myself into so much fear that I ultimately decide to not even go. It’s not worth my time. I don’t want to waste my precious time with someone whom I don’t feel the vibe, etc., etc.,
And people wonder why have I never been married? Duh!
Well, a few days ago I got asked out on a date. Yippee for me!
The what-ifs started rolling like the closing credits at the end of a movie. What if he’s no fun? What if he’s a total dud? What if he isn’t handsome? What if he isn’t spiritual? What if he chews with his mouth open? Holy crap! This guy doesn’t stand a chance!
So, I decided to rewrite the what-ifs. I pulled out my journal, and this is what happened:
What if he is gentle, kind, and funny? What if he is mistakenly handsome? What if I could let my guard down? What if God sent him to me in this perfect moment? What if he has a great smile and great teeth?”
As I was transcribing my journal notes to the computer for this Facebook post and I came to the end of a page where it read, “What if he falls madly in love with”
And, I just figured I wrote “with me?” on the next page. But I turned the page only to find “with Stitch?”
Now that just cracks me up! I was hysterical with laughter!
But, it was followed by “What if he falls madly in love with me?” Whew! I’m not totally crazy!
What if my life becomes bigger and fuller with him in it? What if he is well off and financially sound? What if he is hilarious and gregarious? What if he is compassionate, kind and generous? What if he is soulful and good to his mom? What if he does exist? What if he is for real?
What if he is masculine and drives a truck (preferably a Ford Diesel or Dodge) What if he is AMAZING in bed? What if he puts the toilet seat down and is thoughtful of others?
What if he loves my mom and dad? What if he is open and honest and attentive? What if he is searching for me? What if he needs me as much as I need him? What if he challenges me and inspires me? What if he is generous to others? What if he is humble? What if he is smart?
What if I miss the opportunity?
What if I make up my mind to be fearless?
What if I smash my doubt and run in faith?
What if he brightens my life?
Ahhh! WHAT IF?
So, I picked up the phone and called him back. We had a great conversation and we are going on a date. And, I am super excited. (This is a big shift for me.)
Now, this might seem like a lot to do to just pick up the phone and call someone back. But it really wasn’t. It took about ten minutes for me to jot down all the possibilities. And, I am not sinking my teeth into the fact that someone has to have all of these characteristics. But I am sinking my teeth into the fact that this is what I needed to do to put myself in a positive frame of mind.
Me and relationships have been a source for the most fear and insecurity for me. But I am changing that. I am rewriting my life.
WHAT IF opens up a whole new world when it’s done from the positive perspective. Give it a try the next time you are what-iffing yourself to death.
What if the possibilities are endless?