Pst. Pst. I have a secret.
I am feeling all giddy inside. Seriously, I haven’t felt like this since I was a kid. Giddy with excitement. Giddy with an I-can’t-eat feeling in my stomach. Giddy that I have a secret that I am going to whisper to 1000 Facebook friends.
I have lived my life consumed by the fear of what others will think of me, in all aspects.
When I graduated college, I got a stale job in my hometown as an insurance adjuster. It didn’t sound glamorous or light my fire in any way, but I took it anyway. Why? Well, I wanted to stay in my college town, and it was a professional job. I figured I should just take what I can get and see if I like it.
Do you know where “take-what-you-can-get-and-see-if-you-like-it” will lead you? It led me straight to all fours, crawling under wet, dirty homes with the spiders and mice to get a picture of the broken water pipe. That incident only happened once but it scarred me for life! Eleven years in a profession that didn’t light my fire. Eleven years of earning great income but being miserable doing it.
And, what happens after eleven years is you get used to the money, and people question how you could think about leaving this money-making gig. So… I would question myself. Why would I leave all of this?
How about because my soul was dying?
I finally got the courage up and left that job only to jump into another ill-fitted and stodgy insurance position (that damn fear again!). And, then it was on to law firms from there, and marketing and public relations. Oh, and yea…I went to beauty school too.
I am grateful for all my life experience because ultimately, they have led me here. And the here and now in my life is just starting to fully fucking bloom.
Oh my God! Did I just type the “f” word?
Why, yes, I did. I say it all the time. It’s powerful. And because we are being all honest up in here today, I never thought I would or could hit publish on anything that include the “f” word. Again, too scared of what you all might think.
I have been searching for years to find something that fills my soul and lights my fire. I don’t believe we were put on this earth to drudge along in misery in our job or in our personal life.
Many of you may or may not know that in 2014, I quit drinking. I mention this because it has been the catalyst for me to figure out what I want to do with this big beautiful life. I never used to think in terms of “big beautiful life.”
My journey since 2014 has been a wild one, and one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s like I found a treasure chest and every day I get to pull out more and more trinkets of sheer perfection. One of the gold nuggets I discovered within me is that I love to write. And, dare I say, I am good at it.
Guess what? It fills me up! It sets my soul on fire. I AM A WRITER. Holy effing moly! That feels amazing to share out loud!
So, what’s the purpose of this long Facebook post? Let me tell you.
I am tired of hiding in the shadow of fear. I am ready to share my work with the world. I am fully committing to living out loud and not worrying about what anyone else may think. What would they think anyway? “Pst, pst, did you hear about Rene? She’s a writer!” This just cracks me up! It’s not like I have decided to become a bank robber or mass murder. I am writing for God’s sake.
I write blog posts, I have a children’s book for adults in the works, and I create greeting cards. In fact, I just landed my very first retail greeting card account. If you live in Southern California, you can find my greeting card line at The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa. There are more on the way!
I have goals too. And, I am not afraid to share them either. My goal is to sell more than one million greeting cards. Ronald McDonald inspired me with his big double arches that read over one million burgers sold. It is my destiny. I am certain of it.
I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer. (And I feel so giddy right now, finally!)
I write about all kinds of things. I write about my life and my journey in recovery. I write about finding your soul. I write about forgiveness and compassion. This is feel good stuff and sometimes not-so-feel-good stuff. I write about whatever is on my heart at the moment. And, now am ready to let it flow.
I will be sharing daily over on my Facebook page and on my website blog. I would love for you to follow along. And, if you are so inclined, buy a greeting card or two! Let’s get to a million!
With so much love and peace (finally) in my heart.