3 09, 2018

I Deserve Nutrient Rich Foods and More

2020-11-11T15:25:38-08:00September 3rd, 2018|Early Sobriety|0 Comments

I deserve this. Yes! I deserve this martini…this bottle of wine…these two bottles of wine…this Smirnoff straight out of the plastic bottle. I had a long week. I worked really hard. I sold some big accounts. I broke up with my boyfriend. I got a new boyfriend. It didn’t matter if the news was good or bad, or significant or meaningless, I always felt it deserved to be toasted. It’s something I used to think and say often. I deserve this cocktail—this devil’s elixir. In fact, give me another. And another. And another. I deserve this. Someone shared with me recently that she always felt like she deserved a drink. And, it really got me thinking about the word “deserve” and also about the drink that I was rewarding myself with. Definition of deserve. According to Webster, “deserve” means to do something or have or show qualities worthy of reward [...]

5 08, 2018

No Bones About It Communication

2018-08-05T17:03:09-08:00August 5th, 2018|Communication, Early Sobriety, Freedom|0 Comments

Communication is key to staying sober. What if we set about our day in the same way dogs do? What if we freely expressed what we need and desire from others and situations?  And, boldly communicated without worry of what others might think of us? What if we didn’t filter our lives? From what I can tell, dogs truly take care of themselves. They aren’t afraid to ask for what they want or need. They are not concerned with appearing overly needy. If they are hungry, they sometimes push their food bowl around, signaling for a treat of some kind. When they want attention, they make no “bones” about it. They come to us and gently nuzzle in. Or, in Stitch’s case, he quickly turns so that his rear end is the object of your petting hand. There is no worry of what we might think about them. They unapologetically [...]

2 08, 2018

I Am Always Supported

2020-11-11T15:25:39-08:00August 2nd, 2018|Early Sobriety, Faith|0 Comments

    I’ve never been much of a team player, and I've never allowed myself to feel supported by others or by God. I never much-loved team sports or team activities. I generally leaned more toward solo activities like track and field or public speaking. I did play Little League softball, and I was the pitcher…of course. The pitcher had a little more notoriety than the other positions. Being in the spotlight was my goal, and I loved winning. No wonder that I quickly began a career in sales after graduating college. A sales job was perfect for me, as it met all of my requirements. It was individually driven. It was in the spotlight of the company, and I could win. And, so I did. I quickly rose the corporate sales ladder, winning awards and making big deals. When I was 30 years old, I was promoted to the [...]

25 06, 2018

Rewriting Your Life in Sobriety Through Storytelling

2020-11-11T15:25:40-08:00June 25th, 2018|Early Sobriety, Finding Me, Freedom|0 Comments

Storytelling has become such a huge part of modern society. With the evolution of technology, people are sharing more and more of their own personal stories, made up or real. We are able to put out to the world exactly what we want people to believe about us and about our lives. Facebook and Instagram even have a "stories" section where we can share video insights into our daily lives. It's funny...I was thinking it would be so cool if Facebook or Instagram could video record the stories that run through my head daily. Some of these stories have been floating around in my consciousness for decades and others are new chapters I am beginning to cultivate. Some people engage heavily in social media, sharing every detail and others enjoy staying silent, quietly perusing the stories of the bold and the brash. I have no judgement either way...whether you share [...]

31 05, 2018

Intuition is my Guide

2020-11-11T15:25:41-08:00May 31st, 2018|Early Sobriety, Faith|0 Comments

I am in the light. Intuition is my guide. Often it speaks softly. A gentle nudge within me. I m in the light. Intuition is my guide. Show me. Direct me. My heart is open wide. I am in the light. Listening with eyes open. It is divine sight. I am in the light. Trusting. Growing. Knowing. Trusting with no might. Trusting that inner voice. It is divine sight. The voice becomes louder as I step into the flow. Letting all guards down. This is where I am supposed to go. Expanding with the universe. Trust becomes my mantra. Embedded deep into my soul. I am in the light. Intuition is my guide. There is not place to hide. My heart is open wide.

24 05, 2018

All The Feels in Sobriety

2020-11-11T15:25:41-08:00May 24th, 2018|Early Sobriety, Gratitude|0 Comments

My first job out of college was an insurance adjuster position. For those of you wondering what an insurance adjuster does—they basically decide if you are going to receive any money and how much when you submit a claim to an insurance company. Wow! Just writing the description of an adjuster is quite revealing to me. I was in charge of deciding how much money people would receive from an insurance claim. It’s ironic to me because I have had issues with money my whole life. I am going to save my “money” issues post for another day. So, how do you decide if someone will receive money or not and how much money to give? You crawl under wet and mildewed houses with the mice and spiders to inspect leaky pipes. You climb rooftops to count how many shingles were stolen by the wind in the latest storm. You [...]

22 05, 2018

Surrender in Sobriety

2020-11-11T15:25:41-08:00May 22nd, 2018|Early Sobriety, Faith|4 Comments

When I was new to sobriety, I took a coffee commitment at a local 12-step meeting, where I was to make coffee for the thirsty crowd of misfits. It was a once-a-week, six-month stint which I truly adored. I had to arrive by 6 a.m. to prep for the gathering of hugging and loving that was about to take place at 6:45. I have never seen so many happy people in my life as I see at an early morning meeting. It makes me smile just thinking about it. Gratitude fills the air and hugs are the only way to greet someone. The room was quiet from about 6 to 6:30 a.m. There were a few people who would show up early to share a cup of coffee and enjoy the quiet of the morning. It was during this time that I met a very eccentric man who attended the [...]

20 05, 2018

Handling the Blessings of Sobriety

2020-11-11T15:25:42-08:00May 20th, 2018|Early Sobriety, Gratitude|0 Comments

Can you Handle the Goodness in Your Life or the Blessings of Sobriety? Ahhh…it’s Monday. And, I am coming off of a heavy soul-searching weekend. It’s going to sound silly to you when you hear the root cause that instigated this quest for inner discovery this weekend. Or maybe it won’t. Lately, I have been feeling like I am in a tornado. Literally, I have been envisioning furniture (chairs to be specific) flying at me. They are light and airy, but chairs, no less. My life feels like it is moving at such high speed, and I am in a vortex of goodness. And this tornado I describe is a tornado of abundance. Tornado of Abundance Good things are happening quickly and often. Have you ever been caught in a tornado of goodness? It’s pretty effing amazing! And a little bit unnerving at the same time. Beautiful things are coming [...]

5 04, 2018

Forget About Shoulds in Sobriety

2020-11-11T15:25:42-08:00April 5th, 2018|Early Sobriety, Faith|0 Comments

There are no "shoulds" in sobriety. I had an interesting phenomenon take place over Easter weekend that hasn’t happened to me in quite a while. I was invited to church and lunch with one of my favorite friends’ family. They are newlyweds with a young daughter whom I adore, grandparents who are a riot and just an all-around great group of people to be around. They attend a large church in Orange County. When I say large…I mean massive. It’s a church with a campus. I guess these are probably normal in big cities, but I am a small-town girl used to a small Catholic church that sits on the edge of the local senior center. I went to a workshop at their church over the course of a few Sundays, and it feels like walking into the scene from a movie production. There are extras everywhere…kids swinging and running [...]

15 01, 2018

The Day I Got Sober

2020-11-11T15:25:43-08:00January 15th, 2018|Early Sobriety, Faith, Finding Me, Recovery Stories|0 Comments

  I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t know it at the time that my life had forever changed on this day, January 14, 2014. It wasn’t until five or six days later that I even realized that January 14 should be earmarked as a momentous day. I remember sitting in my back yard smoking a Capri menthol and realizing that I hadn’t had a drink in five or six days. (Yes, I used to smoke, and I smoked those sissy cigs…Capris. They felt a little more elegant than Marlboro Reds.) It was amazing that I hadn’t had a drink, but what was even more remarkable was that I wasn’t trying to “not” drink. I simply hadn’t had one and it hadn’t crossed my mind. It felt a bit different. I wasn’t “willing” myself to not have a drink. I wasn’t white knuckling it or struggling to stay [...]

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